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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29894352">Spotlight</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notacoolgirl/pseuds/Notacoolgirl'>Notacoolgirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Real Person Fiction, Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bisexuality, F/F, Gay Panic, Goya 2021, Heartbreak, Heavy Feelings, IjustLoveThem, Love, One Shot, Real Life, True Love, Useless Lesbians, award season, happiness, mindfucks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:47:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,939</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29894352</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notacoolgirl/pseuds/Notacoolgirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a real person fic of Najwa and Maggie. I gay panicked during this Goya thing and this was born, I apologize (but not really). It's all about the break-up and how they break my heart and look so good while doing it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Macarena Ferreiro/Zulema Zahir, Najwa Nimri/Maggie Civantos</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Spotlight</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I do not know anything about Najwa's and Maggie's relationship other than they were friends at some point and now not so much. obviously I'm not claiming that this happened, and this is for entertainment purposes only. Honestly, it's all about how much I gay panicked today at seeing them at that Goya thing and how Maggie just looked sad at some moments. </p><p>I didn't really use a song for this one, but nowadays I just dislike having a fic without a song as background haha so go ahead and listen to  'Too good at goodbyes' by Sam Smith. If you want to, of course. </p><p>anyways, enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>The knock came again, for the third time. She didn’t want to answer, she knew who it was, it was too much. She couldn’t do this right now, not in this night, not when she was expected to smile and be gracious while having hundreds of people looking up to her, with all the camera’s and the spotlights turned to her face. It was too much; it was too importune.</p><p>The knock came again. She was sitting on the enormous bed and she had her elbows leaning on her knees with her hands covering her face. She didn’t want to do this now, not ever.</p><p>The knock came again.</p><p>
  <em>She didn’t have a choice. </em>
</p><p>Najwa got up from the bed and she walked to the door, in slow steps, not in any hurry, not the least bit excited for this.</p><p>Her hands touched the doorknob, and sure enough, she could feel that it was indeed who she thought it was on the other side of the door. her skin reacted, her heart ached; it was Maggie, no one else brought those effects to her body.</p><p>She took a deep breath, and she closed her eyes for a moment. She turned on the doorknob and off on her emotions. She opened the door and at the same time her lips opened with a smile, as bright as day light, but as fake as her resolutions to not feel anything for the blonde woman.</p><p>The door was pulled open and in front of her stood a stunning brunette, a woman with sadden eyes, one that didn’t have the brightest smile in any room; one that she didn’t recognized, not her Rubia.</p><p>They stood face to face after almost a year of their demise. Najwa’s smile slowly disappeared, her heart slowly crumbled.</p><p>“Took you long enough” Maggie broke the silence, with a half-meant smile on her face. She looked at the redhead in front of her and she almost couldn’t recognize her. The deep dark brown eyes were the same as they been last time, but there was something else; they had more hurt, also more confidence and a whole lot of unshared history now.</p><p>She realized that they weren’t the same anymore, they had grown a lot in the months that they been apart, and unfortunately, they had also <em>grown apart</em>.</p><p>As she looked into Najwa’s eyes, a hundred thoughts ran through her head. A hundred different shades of grief.</p><p>
  <em>Were they strangers again? Was the history forgotten?.. Or was it just meaningless? </em>
</p><p>“Perdóname Rubi-” Najwa stopped herself and smiled at the beautiful woman who stood in front of her. She wondered what nickname she was supposed to use now that the woman was no longer the blonde one; her smile faded as she realized that there was no nickname to use, no affection, none of the beautiful intimacy.</p><p>They were different people now, not who they were, not together. “Sorry, Maggie” She said instead. The full name of her ex-college, <em>ex-passion,</em> felt strange on her lips; unknown, not important enough.</p><p>They stood in silence again. They didn’t know how to just <em>be</em> in the presence of the other anymore. It felt bad, it felt sad.</p><p>“Please, come in” Najwa offered. She didn’t want to, it didn’t feel right. But she couldn’t just let the woman standing outside, she couldn’t be that much of an asshole.</p><p> She hoped that Maggie would feel the heaviness of the air around them and decide to step away from the poison of it, to escape, pretend that it didn’t happened.. like they did before.</p><p>She hoped that the woman would be the smartest one and turn away from the danger that they were, from the wreck that they could cause.</p><p>The blonde, <em>or brunette as it appeared now</em>, was never the fearful one of them both. She was never one to back down from their challenge.</p><p>Maggie walked in, their skin almost brushed as she passed by, but she made sure to avoid it, to keep her body from the hurtful electricity.</p><p>Najwa closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. her former friend, former confident, former unbridled passion, was walking into her territory again as if she never left, as if they never broke each other’s heart, and it didn’t feel good. It didn’t feel like she always fantasized that it would.</p><p>She slowly closed the door and opened her eyes again. Her heart was beating two hundred per minute for sure, and her hands were suddenly sweaty.</p><p>She didn’t want this, she took a long time to get over it, but she finally did. She didn’t desire to get back to it now. She was happy, and apparently, so was Maggie. They didn’t need this; <em>she</em> couldn’t handle it.</p><p>“Your room is better than mine” Maggie said with a teasing voice and a noncompleted smile, one that didn’t show her pearly-white teeth, but showed her adorable cheek dimples.</p><p>Najwa finally turned around to face the woman and her heart stopped for a minute at the sight of that beautiful smile, that one that had always been so familiar to her, but was now out of reach.</p><p>“It’s the age difference.. They tend to give the best room to the older women because they know that when we’re one step away from menopause we will bitch at just about anything without a care in the world” Najwa joked, with a smile on her face. That earned her a breathy laugh, the one that she craved for; day after day, ever since they decided to part ways.</p><p>“Bueno, the perks of being careless.” Maggie raised one eyebrow and nodded once, dipping into the teasing of the moment.</p><p>They looked at one another, with the amusement smirks still on their face and with their eyes full of longing, hurt, and that incredible sorrow that they both felt.</p><p>“It’s good to see you, Maggie” Najwa said. She meant it; her heart just felt fuller at seeing the blonde who was no longer a blonde. She supposed that they should hug, or something of the sorts. But she wouldn’t do that, it was just too dangerous.</p><p>“It’s good to see you, Najwa.” Maggie breathed out. it felt strange, <em>disconnected</em>, but still real.</p><p>Najwa smiled, and finally moved away from the door. She went towards the lounge area, but instead of taking a seat by the comfortable Recamier, she went to get herself a drink.</p><p>“Please, make yourself at home. I surely did” She offered, looking back at Maggie while pouring a mini bottle of vodka into a glass. “They have <em>crystal glasses</em>, but don’t have the decency of getting some good drinks in this mini bar..” The redhead shook her head “would you like something?” She asked, after her glass was filled and her tongue could already anticipate the delicious bittersweet taste of the drink.</p><p>Maggie smiled and shook her head. “Gracias” She declined. This felt weird, it didn’t feel like them. <em>If ‘them’ had ever been a parameter to even begin with.</em></p><p>Najwa took a hearty sip from the drink and then settled her glass down. The alcohol went up faster then she would’ve thought. She just now remembered that she hadn’t eaten anything all day; she’d been so excited and busy that food had not made its way into her brain for one single second of the busy schedule.</p><p>“Where’s your sidekick?” Maggie asked while looking around the place as if she expected to see the woman hidden in some corner of the room. She knew that she wouldn’t; she only decided to come up after she saw the brunette crossing the lobby on her way out.</p><p>“My sidekick?” Najwa furrowed.</p><p>“The one jumping on the bed with you? In the video that you posted?” Maggie explained. She was sure that the redhead knew who she was talking about.</p><p>“Oh” Najwa answered as if she just now remembered. Her eyes looked deep into the non-blonde woman and they just stared. <em>‘didn’t I block you from my social media?’ </em></p><p>
  <em>‘yeah, asshole.’ </em>
</p><p>“She had some things to do.. and she’s not my sidekick.” Najwa said instead.</p><p>“Uhmm” Maggie hummed. They continued to stare for a few seconds longer, until Najwa looked away and downed the drink that she had poured to herself. It burned her throat; it enlightened her feelings. It tasted less bitter than the tension around them did.</p><p>The older woman took a deep breath in and exhaled while looking away, to the lights just beyond the big glass windows.</p><p>“Why are you here?” She finally found the courage to ask, or better yet<em>, she finally drank enough courage to ask. </em></p><p>“I don’t know” Maggie honestly replied; <em>She didn’t know,</em> or she simply couldn’t comprehend the grip that the redhead seemed to have on her.</p><p>She hated it, with all of her strength, with everything that she had, she hated it; because she couldn’t help but crave it, she couldn’t help but love it.</p><p>“I missed you. I guess” She shrugged. The older woman seemed indifferent to it, she seemed to not have heard the need and heartbreak on Maggie’s voice.</p><p>“Vale… You don’t know” Najwa looked down at the floor, and let her head hang in defeat. “You should go.” She nodded slightly, almost imperceptibly. Almost fake.</p><p>“yeah..I should.. I just don’t want to.” She heard Maggie say and she let out a heavy exhale.</p><p>“Let’s not do this tonight? Or ever, for that matter.” Najwa plead. It was a cry for mercy, for the safety of her heart, of her body<em>, of her fucking sanity</em>. “We’ve done this once, it was difficult enough.. let’s not repeat it.. please?”</p><p>Maggie nodded. She looked away, glancing out the window as the redhead had before. She bit her lower lips and closed her eyes for a second. they really shouldn’t, it really didn’t matter.</p><p>“I just wanted to see you” the young woman let it slip from her lips. Najwa took a deep breath in.</p><p>“You’re in a relationship, I’m in a relationship. I’m happy, you’re happy too.. can we just take that and be done? Isn’t it enough?” The older woman tiredly asked. She knew the answer. She felt it daily.</p><p>Maggie scoffed, and brought her yes back to her ex-partner. “It’s enough, I am happy. Truly.. it’s enough.. just not when you’re five rooms away, not when your within reach, when I feel your presence so close to me.. it’s not enough then.. not enough now” Maca offered a regretful smile and shrugged.</p><p>Najwa let out a incredulous laugh through her beautifully painted lips, it wasn’t amusement not hurt; it was just a <em>‘I can’t believe we’re doing this right now’ </em>kind of laugh.</p><p>“Lo siento, Maggie. De verdad. Pero..” She didn’t know what else to say. Maggie was her biggest regret and her biggest happiness. Giving her up had been the same of giving up a part of her heart, but they did that to one other, they had to let go. It wasn’t fair that they should relive that pain now, in this night where they were supposed to just look beautiful and accomplished and happy. It just wasn’t fair.</p><p>She looked into Maggie’s face and she could see the hurt all over again. She could feel the pain creeping in her bones just like it did the last time.</p><p>She looked up at the ceiling and she could feel her heart breaking once more. She wouldn’t cry this time, she wouldn’t break on this night.</p><p>Najwa let out a deep breath and looked down at Maggie again; the woman looked like a divine being. Maggie’s beauty was simply out of this world and all that she could think was how much she would give up only to feel her skin one more time, only to be wrapped around her pure love again.</p><p>She couldn’t though. She didn’t have a lot left that she could spare. Maggie took it all the last time.</p><p> “Rubia..I crave you as much as you crave me.. my love for you runs too deep” She smiled, but of course, it didn’t look real “But I cant have you.. you can’t have me. It’s the price of the spotlight” She shrugged, and it pained everywhere. She felt it in her bones, her skin, her muscles, her nerves. But she still offered the fake, hurtful smile.</p><p>Maggie offered the same fake smile in return, so that Najwa wouldn’t be alone in her pain and faked indifference. She nodded and she looked down. A set of tears rose in her eyes and threatened to make its way down her face, but she pushed them back, she waited until they disappeared inside of her again. She couldn’t cry with the beautiful make up that she had. This was a night for the stars and she couldn’t afford to not be the brightest one, not even if her heart was unmended and her soul felt shallow.</p><p>Najwa could see the pain on her ex-partner’s face and it matched perfectly to the one that she kept hidden in her chest. it broke her once more. <em>Tonight, of all times. </em></p><p>“Are you happy, Maggie?” She asked through a strained voice. it was all that she needed to know, it was the only necessary information that she craved so that she could move on and let their past rest in peace.</p><p>Maggie looked at Najwa and her eyes filled with tears again. She offered a smile, better than the ones of before, <em>less fake</em>, and she nodded. “Yeah” She answered, and it was the truth, even though right now her heart provided pain like she was about to die from the shattering of it.</p><p>“I am” She settled.</p><p>Najwa smiled then, with more truth than she had in months. She nodded in understanding and she shrugged, frowning her eyebrows in faked confusion at the woman that stood in front of her, just out of her reach, just within safe measures.</p><p> “<em>Then go</em>.” She said it, the claim and decisiveness in her voice being was the most compelling thing that Maggie had heard in a while. “You don’t need me, Maggie” She shook her head while still frowning “You’re fine, you’re happy. You’re incredible... why are you here at all? <em>Go</em>” She encouraged.</p><p>Maggie let the set of tears fall then, she couldn’t keep them anymore. A single sob wanted to escape her, but she kept it safe inside of her chest.</p><p>She took one certain step forward but stopped herself mid track. Najwa took one step back and gripped the furniture behind her with both hands, as if preparing for an assault that she wouldn’t be able to fight.</p><p>Their eyes were locked together, and their bodies begged, claimed, <em>cried,</em> for the other’s skin, the warmth, the desire, <em>the passion</em> that had always been so tangible when they were together. But that was something from before, when things weren’t so complicated.</p><p>“Can I hug you? For one last time?” Maggie asked, abandoning her pride or anything else that would keep her from trying.</p><p>Najwa looked at her and slightly smiled, making the wrinkles around her eyes become more visible, and simultaneously making Maggie’s heart become fuller. She shook her head in response and Maggie smiled in defeat, but also in understanding.</p><p>“Haven’t you heard?” She asked. She looked down at her watch to see if it was about time already, then she looked up at Maggie again. “Touching is not allowed anymore.. and when it comes to us.. two meters apart is <em>always</em> the safest choice.”</p><p>Maggie let out a breathy laugh and nodded. The older woman was right, as she was about most things. This wasn’t it, this was just a desperate cry from her heart, <em>it wasn’t real.</em></p><p>She didn’t want it to be, because if it was, if their past history continued to live, then, it would consume everything within her, it would break her to the core. It was for the best; to ignore this, pretend it never happened. She would just ‘take her broken heart, and make it into art’. As they’d been doing from the start.</p><p>“Will I see you later?” Maggie wondered.</p><p>Najwa smiled again and shook her head.</p><p>“You saw me now... forget it, let it go.. go be young and incredible and beautiful as you are.. don’t waste your time thinking about seeing me, ok? You’re too especial, Maggie” the redhead offered and Maggie nodded, though her heart tug like it was getting ready to wither.</p><p>The previous-blonde, who was now the most stunning brunette, nodded and exhaled, before turning around and going for the door, being short followed by the redhead.</p><p>Maggie reached for the doorknob, but before she opened the door, she turned back and was met with the older woman’s deep eyes, also with Najwa’s body being mere inches from her own.</p><p>“Was it ever real? Did you ever love me?” She asked. It wasn’t a hurtful question; it wasn’t sad nor hopeful. It was just something that she genuinely wanted to know.</p><p>“As real as it have ever been.. I love you like I’ll never love anyone else.” Najwa answered. She didn’t care for putting ‘love’ in the past sentence. She loves Maggie; before, then, now, after, <em>forever</em>.</p><p>Maggie nodded, smiled, opened the door, then she was gone.</p><p>As sudden as the woman had appeared, she had now vanished.</p><p>Once the door was closed and her skin was no longer on fire, Najwa turned and let her back rest against the door. the sobs came in desperate desolation, though she would not allow her tears to fall. She stood there heavily breathing, and she tried to not feel so much.</p><p>Tonight wasn’t the time for heart break, it wasn’t the place for sincere feelings. This night was about dreams, about glamor, about hope and about giving the fans what they wanted. She wouldn’t this now, she wouldn’t feel this now. Maybe tomorrow, maybe one month from then. definitely not tonight, she couldn’t afford to.</p><p>She pushed herself away from the door and she walked until she reached the bed.</p><p>She laid down on her side, in a way that wouldn’t mess her hair or outfit and she just focused her thoughts on something else; she thought about how to open that goddamn envelop without making herself look like a fool, she thought about her fans, <em>who were surely waiting to see her and to judge her looks and probably make funny jokes about her on twitter</em>, she thought about how far she has come and how much her career had blossomed in the last few years and how grateful she was for that.</p><p>She thought of how lucky she was, and at the same time, she thought about how different things would’ve been if she didn’t have the constant spotlight on her.</p><p> She let her mind go to all the places, to anything, everything,<em> something,</em> that wasn’t the hurt in Maggie’s eyes, the set of eyes that could reach the deepest part of her soul, from the one woman who would always be her Rubia.</p><p>Out in the hallway, Maca raised her head and walked with purpose. She smiled when people walked past her and she thought of how good she looked tonight, on how amazing it was that she was attending this incredible event with all of the most talented people.</p><p>She used her hands to wipe away the tears that kept slipping from her eyes and she took a deep breath to will away the constriction on her chest.</p><p>Tonight was about her, anything, <em>or anyone else</em>, shouldn’t be pertinent.</p><p>She got to her room and her assistant told her that it was show-time. She stopped by the mirror and fixed what needed fixing in her appearance, then she smiled big, straightened her back, and walked out of the room again, with porpoise and a fake sense of happiness.</p><p>She got to the red-carpet and she tried to smile as real and radiant as possible.</p><p>She looked around and didn’t spot Najwa, <em>she was glad that she didn’t.</em></p><p>she looked at the camera’s and the flashes and for a few moments she wished that she was somewhere else, probably in that safe, secure, trailer that Najwa had back in the days. She shook those memories away when she realized that the photographers wouldn’t stop doing their jobs just because she was heartbroken, and that if she was going to be all over social media in a couple of minutes, she mind as well look damn good.</p><p>Najwa was just a couple of meters away from Maggie, but when her eyes roamed her surroundings, she couldn’t find the woman. It was for the best. She smiled big for the cameras and she had her eyes sharp to every photograph that was being taken.</p><p> She was a star for tonight and that’s all that her fans would see. It didn’t matter that her heart was aching, nor that all that she wanted was to hug her ex-blonde and pretend that none of the sadness was real, that the fall out didn’t happen, and that there wasn’t always a thousand people looking at them, gauging for something that would fuel their speculations.</p><p>She just smiled and waved and joked through the turmoil. She just pretended that it wasn’t happening to her, that she wasn’t the one letting go of her one true love in order to be what others expected and what her people needed.</p><p>She went to where they expected her, and she presented the award. She struggled with the envelope <em>just like she was sure that she would, </em>then she announced who had gotten the award and she even sincerely laughed and enjoyed herself while doing it, and then she was done. She went to where the production people lead her to, and she found herself in a room with comfortable chairs and an open bar. The place was basically empty and the few people who were there kept their distance from one another.</p><p>She drank and she watched Maggie on tv; she wondered how the woman looked more stunning every time. She even cursed at the way that Maggie looked like a woman who belonged in Greek mythology, but mostly she cursed at how her gorgeous smile didn’t quite reach her striking hazel eyes.</p><p>When Maggie disappeared from the spotlights, she went back to her room and she laid on her huge bed. She looked up at the ceiling and all that she could see were images of the other woman.</p><p>A few rooms over, Maggie was doing the same.</p><p>They ached for the other, but they didn’t succumb to it. they let the flames become ashes once again and they rejoiced in the fact that they were still happy, <em>in spite of each other</em>, they have found something for themselves and they have bloomed away from the other. That was enough for them, it had to be, or they would never truly be ok.</p><p>They just couldn’t be together; they knew that from the start.</p><p>But at least they lived a lot, they could enjoy the memories that they'd created, they could smile at all of the amazing, <em>soul-filling</em>, things that they managed to hide. They could replay in their heads all of the outstanding happiness that they found in between all of the secrecy.</p><p>Now they were different, the breakup had changed them, and though it was sad, they were ok. They were as happy as they would ever be.</p><p>Away from their soulmate, <em>but happy.</em></p>
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